jingal

2005-01-12T14:46:00.000+08:00

hey! to all my dear frens,

i've changed my blog to www.xanga.com/jingal

pls leave ur msg on xanga using the "add comment" feature. i wun be able to read ur msg on the tagboard here. thank u very much~

lastly, pls give me suggestions to improve my new blog. thank u!

2004-12-21T17:03:00.000+08:00

I had a nice lunch wif Mrs. Ong yesterday. We talked a lot AHS stuffs and I then realized that so many teachers who had/had not taught me be4, left school due to one reason or another. I guess the next time if im back sch, there will be only one quarter of the teachers whom I know. But I will still go back often to visit the teachers.

Oh yap, there will be a new principal in AHS…3 principals in 4 years! I miss the days when Mr. Moo was in sch. Without Mr. Moo, I wun be in AHS, and probably wun get into HCJC neither. I would probably in a neighbourhood school which means I may still in poly now. Mr. Wang was also not bad, at least he offered me to study Higher Chinese in the 2nd term of my Sec 4 life. Thank you so much, Mr Moo and Mr Wang!

I’ve sent several x’mas cards to my sec sch teachers few days ago. Wanna send cards to my JC teachers too. But too bad, I dun haf any of their addresses. Next time, must put the add on year book mah~ and I realized my class list dun haf add neither…BR! How come you know my add? Anyway, thank u so much for your card! If im not wrong, u sent me a card last yr too. I was so lazy to reply. Sorry!

Back to my talk wif Mrs. Ong, both of us criticized the education system. We chatted at the new syllabus, project work, CCAs etc. and I still remembered the “relative velocity” in new A Maths syllabus. Think I still dunno how to work on the qns. Hai! Anyway, heard frm Mrs Ong that they r going to change syllabus again in 2007…hopefully, it’s a right movement. My batch is the victim for almost everything, eg. 1st batch to study Social Study, New syllabus, Project work… the only thing think I escaped is SPA in JC. Imagine how much I’ve suffered…at least some things are getting better nowadays.

If got chance, I really hope to be the minister of education or at least the wife of minister of education. So that I can try to let HCJC’s name back and perhaps not to let the younger generation suffer so much from the present education system…haha! It's just an impossible dream...haha!

SPH SG

2004-12-20T17:23:00.000+08:00

not long ago, i hate the sph security guards and becoz of that reason, i've even afraid to go sph for quite some times early this yr. still remembered the 1st of our orientation this yr, i quarrelled wif one of the indian sph SG...sorry! i really hate u...

but the situation gets much better nowadays, partly becoz of the orientation incident i guess. in fact, some of the sph SG get to know me. one of the chinese SG likes to call out my name. haha! i long to see him every time when i head to sph sesurity hse. we chatted for quite a few times too. he's so nice! but i still afraid to see those non-chinese SG there. not becoz im racist etc, but they really look fierce.

to my surprise, just now i went to the security hse to change pass. one of the indian or malay SG looked at me suspiciously initially, but he soon smiled at me when i smiled to him. is it becoz of my long mini-skirt? or my nice sweet smile? haha! anyway, the SG there are getting much better now. at least, i wun haf any difficulty to change a visitor pass and can even get a contract worker's pass if im lucky, like today. hee!

really think if i dun work in sph next time, it's a big waste since i get to know the SGs there so well...haha!

Singapore Vs Shanghai

2004-12-16T01:59:00.000+08:00

i've been talking wif irene who is currently in shanghai for internship and study this whole afternoon on MSN. being a shanghainese, we shared many common interesting topics.

traffic
the traffic there is horrible+terrible. irene said she tried to cycle to company, den gonna horn by a bus or sth. haha! and she's so amazed by how those shanghainese dare to cut the path of a moving bus or cars and how they can run along the bike and mount on it while the bike is still moving. she said she wants to learn the skill. so funny! i used to be one of those cyclist leh last time. last time, i cycled to sch every day lor. but nowadays, im same as irene liao--lost all these skills and sometimes, even dun dare to cross the road. hai! and the fact is the ppl there nv look at the traffic light when they cross the road. i argued it's a kind of culture there. haha!

girl
shanghai girl is very fierce. i agree wif tat. but irene said im no longer those typical shanghai girl coz im much gentler and nicer. haha! but im plan to be more fierce, cannot lost my culture mah. haha! oh yap,i argued with her tat it's a kind of special culture there, same for it's terrible traffic. that's y make the city so diff from the others. haha!

guy
of course, cannot miss out shanghai guy. our conclusion is "nice,100% good husband who is afraid of his wife" really! i often saw househusband(not housewife) who go to market aft work and some even cook for the family in shanghai. unlike singaporean guy, some of them are so da4 nan2 ren2 zhu3 yi4. this is not a sweeping statement. at least, my class already haf 3 out of 12. sorry 4 futh and biao! i want to be a successful career woman. i wun stay at hse and doing nothing, but serve as a maid. i need to be financial independent. haha!

actually, we oso talk a lot more. but im too lazy to summarise here. btw, another fren nicole oso in shanghai now. she said she gained 4kg. i want to see how fat is she now! haha! but really u will find very hard to resist all the nice and cheap food there.

anyway, im coming back soon. see u, sh!

珍惜

2004-12-15T16:22:00.000+08:00

不懂为什么人总是这么的“践”，至少我觉得我是如此。

　　往往只有失去后，才会懂得珍惜。可是通常到那时，已经太迟了。

　　不过，这至少让我认识到了失去后的价值，懂得了珍惜的重要性，更让我了解到了曾经拥有过的宝贵。

　　要不是因为分离，我想我是永远不会知道您是如此地了解我，我也不会知道您是这么地信任我，当然，我也不会这么珍惜我们在一起时的短暂时光。

　　每次都盼望着重逢，但是却又极度抗拒重逢后的再一次分离。

　　只留下美好的回忆在脑海里反复咀嚼，反复回味。然后，怀疑自己：这到底是一种享受，还是折磨？

迟疑

2004-12-15T16:02:00.000+08:00

犹豫不决，往往使我错失了生命中许多宝贵的机会。

　　虽然我常常告诉别人要好好把握机会，因为一旦机会错过了，就再也不会回来了。然而，自己却还是如此，做什么事都不能马上下定决心，结果一拖再拖，机会就这样悄声而过。

　　警告自己下次不可以这样了，却又一而再，再而三地－－重蹈覆辙！

　　事实是残酷的，当别人都在进步时，你一旦停下脚步，别人就会超越你。同样的，或许你只是稍微有点迟疑，也许就无法再抓住他了。

　　我会尽量把这几个词从我的字典中除去，永久地删除。。。

2004-12-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

finally i've uploaded most of my prom photos.

just now, i spent quite some time reading fren's blogs and im really touched, esp by Helen, Xiaoting and biao's entries. i feel so fortunate to be part of 03S61 with dearest teachers, like Mr. Chow, Mr. Teo, kapo etc.

staying at my fren's hse these few days, dun ask me the reason why? just want to get out of the place i've used to stay and if possible, get out of this world...

until recently, i've happened to get in touch wif some poly students. realised that there are many ppl living in a very diff world from mine. i mean ppl at the age of mine can be so...maybe to them is normal or maybe im too guai1 liao...it only makes me more treasure wif my class--61, we all haf the same "frequency", talking lame jokes which only we can understand and not forgetting our lotsa hong lou, cha guan or xiao shuo quotes which only we can "appreciate". haha!

quarrelled wif mum through phone few days ago, but i regretted immediately.i shldn't blame mum for not understanding me. in fact, i always feel so lucky to haf such a reasonable and understanding mum who gives me lotsa freedom, but at the same time, gives me advices. and i feel more guilty this morning when she told me she has some stomach problem in a recent medical checkup. wat makes me more upset is that it has a possilblity to turn to a stomach cancer...

think it's not the right time to continue write anymore.
gd nite everyone and wish u all haf a healthy life!

2004-12-13T02:45:00.000+08:00

hey, ppl! here's the link for prom photos.
www.jingpromphoto.MyPicGallery.com

i will upload more photos coming on and some are the photos we took in the early morning aft prom. remember the nice sunrise?

03S61! I love u, miss u so much!
and all the teachers, chinese sociey, LEP, HCJC...

2004-12-10T13:54:00.000+08:00

I feel have a lot thing to write, but when I start writing, dunno where to begin now.

Exam is over, A level is over, camp is over, prom is over…I dunno wat is the next thing waiting for me or rather wat is the next thing I can do. The sense of loneliness, the feeling of loss, I really dunno how to use words to describe, not even a Chinese word I can think of now.

Back from hotel this afternoon, even though I had not slept 4 a whole nite, yet still not feel very sleepy. Instead I feel very sad; I dunno when can I meet all my frens again and doing the same things, talking the same lame jokes, laughing at one another, niao3ing at ppl (esp Futh) as we did over the past 2 yrs etc. Im afraid I will eventually lose all my nice, caring, friendly frens aft some times, maybe 5 yrs, 10 yrs, 20 yrs…I dunno. Maybe one day, we have chance to pass over each other at orchard or somewhere, but by then, we are already strangers----not even a word of “Hello!”

2 yrs is really too short for us to be together. I haf never regretted come to hwa chong, joined LEP, and be a S61cian despite my disappointing+lousy+残不忍睹 results and im quite sure I would definitely do better if im at TJ or in S2, S3 or S7 faculty. But in tat case, I would miss all the fun time with my class, teachers (esp, kapo, Mr. Chow, Mr Teo, Mr Ong, Mr Ngoi, Mr Tan and many more), Chinese Society, Huang Cheng Ye Yun, LEP(语特)……

总觉得自己是一个特别容易感动，也十分感性的人。看到大家在十字路口，各自分道扬镳，我除了不舍，还是不舍。即便是当年讨厌的“眼中钉”, 我还是会忍不住上去和他拥抱、道别。看到以恬亲自花了这么多心思，给我们每人的小礼物，尤其读到她写我的信，我的眼泪只差那么一点就流了出来，我感动的真的不知道要说什么才好。Prom之后，大家坐在一起谈心，突然发现原来彼此都这么了解对方，总觉得没有人关心自己的我，才了解原来有这么人关心我，照顾我，迁就我。。。可是，我还是觉得自己很失败，有时候(其实是最近)要找个朋友出去，问了一大堆人，竟全部吃“闭门羹”，如果再失去这些曾经/现在还是这么了解我、关心我的朋友。。。突然之间，我好想快快离开，我不想再自甘堕落下去。如果哪一天，我突然不告而别，应该知道我是去了哪里吧！

对不起，我太会哭了。。。还是改天再继续UPDATE吧！still got a lot things to update including camp, pre & post prom and of course my feelings. Let me end my 2day’s entry with yi tian’s letter. ba.

“Lu Jing,
甜姐儿！其实要感谢你在J1的时候，一直听我发牢骚（是吗？我不怎么记得了，好像我向你发牢骚的时候比较多）。HAHA~我觉得你的皮肤好好哟。今天的你一定很性感，外加超级漂亮（指PROM，谢谢！谢谢！），还有那双电眼（有吗？），真是令人难忘！很多人都羡慕我的柔道很好（这是真的，而且和你在一起特别有安全感，一定没有人敢欺负我。哈哈！），但我也会羡慕别人啊，就像你一样。。。能在报馆工作，接触到不同的人和事。总之，大家都要知足啰。。。明年三月你也会回来拿成绩吧！到时候再见面LOR。。。祝你在这三个月内尽快找到男朋友！！很期待LEH。。。我应该还会在新加坡念大学，希望我们还可以成为同学！！我觉得03S61有你，就有趣LEH，因为你有时开始骂人还蛮可笑的。。。可爱啊！谢谢你，我会记得你的！！（我也会！）有机会再见吧！拜拜！！

以恬
华初语特03S61
8TH DEC 2004"

2004-11-30T16:18:00.000+08:00

since the end of my JC life, i start to haf a very strong feeling of sadness and lost. dunno y leh, i was so busy these days, stayed at sph everyday aft exam and slept even fewer hrs than during A level period...hai! somehow, i dun really hope to haf such a long holiday which means i will be 无所事事 for half a year...can someone give me some suggestions? thank you!

2004-11-30T15:53:00.000+08:00

recently, i had some great discovery. one of my fren is in a relationship. haha! actually, i suspected him since July this yr, if im not wrong. and i had intended to 跟踪 him...but becos of my busy schedule, 最终不了了之。

now im more interested to noe hu's the lucky girl. den someone who noes, 死死都不肯告诉我。hai! i haf to find out by myself...but i got a big clue: there's a high possiblity tat the lucky girl is frm txy. maybe i can look at the txy contact list and spot out few 嫌疑犯.

oh yap, just check my frenster which i had not log in 4 5 months liao. that fren's status is already changed to "In a relationship"...erm, maybe i can haf some more great discovery from there...hahahaha!

finally it's over...

2004-11-26T13:29:00.000+08:00

finally, i've finished my last paper yesterday. frankly speaking, i really feel i did very bad for almost all the papers. even for LEP, i underperformed too. 2 days ago, just after the physics paper 3, i called my shanghai aunt and told her abt tat paper. i nearly cried out...

2004-10-05T10:34:00.000+08:00

Dunno wat to say now or if I haf anything else to say…

this kind of grades is somehow expected and indirectly proved that it’s not the matter how hard HC paper are, but rather how stupid I am…no matter how poorly my performance is, there are still a high percentage of ppl who score A…hai!

Think only left 3 choices for me:
1. private local university, eg SIM etc (affordable, but the degree is not very…)
2. Australia university (expensive, but if can get into a good university, such as New South Wales; Melbourne etct, still quite worth. The problem is if cant enter local u, is there a possibility getting to a gd uni in Australia, can always try. Perhaps a very lousy course that nobody takes.)
3. UK university (very expensive, but it’s only a 3 yr course. Afraid I may starve to death be4 the completion of the course…)

Actually, there’s still a last choice: go back china. But can I enter the university there? Dunno, very unlikely to enter a gd uni there. Or else go back and start working…but wat can I do only with a lousy A level certification???

I’ve planned the worst. But hope it will never happen to me. Otherwise, all my efforts these yrs studying here will all be wasted and most imptly, wasted a large sum of my parents’ money and my future…

your top career area is Merchandising

2004-09-30T11:07:00.000+08:00

Careers in the area of merchandising require not only people skills but also powers in the art of persuasion as well. Most likely, you are naturally attuned to what people want. You're probably a strong communicator and skilled at presenting your point of view in a convincing manner.

erm...is tat true??? i want to do sth else leh...

令人匪夷所思的漫画题材

2004-09-30T09:21:00.000+08:00

前两天，早报有一篇《令人啼笑皆非的漫画题材》，所列出的事例确实蛮荒唐、可笑的。所以，我也在此写“抄袭”他的题目，把我个人在最近这段时间的所见所闻所感记录下来，希望能供人一笑。

“五天制”的连锁反应

“新官上任总会有那三把火”，即使没有那“料”（火），也会尽量“钻木取火”，无中生有。“五天制”表面上看是为了学生好，减轻老师们的负担，这样学生就能多在家陪伴父母，促进亲子关系；而老师们则能在家好好利用那多余的一天，努力“做人”，贡献于国家的“生产力”，粗粗一略，似乎是一举多得……

但是，通常大人物所讲的话只注重“报喜不报忧”，“五天制”背后所隐藏的利害关系，又岂是那些大人物站在高处所能看到的？

最近，在读中学的表妹拿回家一张《五天制课外活动时间表》，看了除了觉得可笑之外，剩余的就是对学校老师与学生们的深深的同情感，当然，也为自己刚巧逃脱“五天制”的新制度而感到庆幸不已。周一到周五每天2:30pm放学，2:30-3:30是补课时间，所有课外活动一律3:30pm开始，到6:30pm结束。天哪！如果一星期有两天7点多，甚至8点才到家（对于那些家离学校较远的学生），那么不用做功课，也不用准备第二天的听写或测验等等，吃完晚餐就可以倒头大睡了，要不然就第二天在课堂上打瞌睡，如此恶性循环！（虽然在黄城的那三个月里我们或许更惨，可是我们必竟已是高中生，小学生与中学生如此受得了这样的长期“折磨”？）

老师们回到家，不要说什么有更多陪伴家人的时间，能好好地睡上一觉就已很不错了。备课，批改作业等工作只好利用周六在家的时间完成。老师们只好无奈地摇摇头：贡献于国家“生产力”一职就只好由其他行业的同胞来完成了。

新制度推出后不久的确传来不少疑惑的声音，对于它的可行性提出质疑。我没有什么疑问，更没有质疑，因为事实就是事实，事实已摆在眼前，相信大家不久就能“有目共睹”！虽然大人物们一再强调“五天制”的灵活性，对于那些适合在周六进行的课外活动而可以在周六举行。看起来合情合理，但是哪一位校长不想表现一下自己的制校能力，谁又甘愿在“五天制”的跑道上输给其他竞争对手？结果可想而知。

小人在此大胆地提出一建议：或许可以考虑惩罚那些周六穿着校服在乌节路逛街的学生与其学校。这样就能达到“杀一儆百”的效果，那么“五天制”的新制度就会更加成功，大人物们还可以在国际上show off一番。

珍珠奶茶换军购？！

这个就更加令人匪夷所思、啼笑皆非了。我本身就十分喜欢喝珍珠奶茶，却没想到原来远在台湾的将军、军人等也与我一样，同样爱喝珍珠奶茶。不过，可悲的是，他们现在已经不敢再喝了，甚至已经达到了谈“奶茶”色变的最高境界。Sorry, 我想帮忙，可是却无能为力。

如果说，人人少喝几杯奶茶，就能为国家省下高达数亿元的国防军购，除非是天价镶钻的奶茶，不然是很难实现这样的“天方夜谭”。

一向以“民主”、“自由”而引以为豪的政府，此刻却一意孤行。退休的军官将领联名提交抗议书；将近八成的人民反对声；再加上泡泡茶店的极力反抗声响，都不足以去推翻一个民主自由的政权。

更可笑的是，高价买回来一大堆别人淘汰了的“垃圾废物”，还如获至宝似地引以为豪，不惜以多年的债务来回报对方的“大恩大德”，还要自欺欺人地自圆其说，希望老天爷也能帮忙使民众信服。

拥有了更多的国防“废铁”，就能确保本身的安全问题吗？该死的终究会死，即使用千层牢固的钢铁来保护，但谁又能预料它会不会在层层钢铁中窒息而死、或是暴毙而死？谁又能保证？

当我下次喝珍珠奶茶时，或许可以好好地思考一下这个问题。

合并＋整合＝大退步

最初听到两个死冤家竟然可以握手合并，惊奇！不可思议！就是我的第一反应。在商业场上，两家公司整合、合并是常有的事，不足为奇。“适者生存”就是如此简单，无法适应时代改变的终究都会被淘汰、灭亡。不要说人类，就是动物、植物等都是如此。

问题在于，两家公司都存活得好端端的，为什么自我淘汰？自我灭亡？虽然可能生存地十分辛苦，但大家可以清楚地看到这两家人都尽力地在逆境中求存，并在不断地进步当中。观众好不容易才欣慰地看到竞争过程中带来的进步，而现在却突然如长江流水般地“不进则退”，很快就将会退回至起点，之后的事，我实在不敢多想。

原来“利益”才是罪魁祸首，但是既然两家公司都不介意在大出血地情况下继续运作，又何必多此一举？更何况，最初的几年可能是负资产，但过一些年后，等步入轨道后，谁又能肯定它一定不会赚钱？哪一家公司不是如此？

辛辛苦苦才建立起来的事业，现在眼睁睁地就要看着它化为乌有，谁不心疼？谁不怜惜？台前幕后所有工作人员共同创建起来的心血，却可能换来自身难保的尴尬局面……

观众是受害者，两家公司的所有员工都是受害者。最近看张海洁报新闻，总觉得她内心压抑着一股无法排遣的仇恨与无奈，希望不是我多疑。不过，可能过不了多久就真的再也无法看到海洁报新闻了，当然还有许多优频道的两栖新闻工作者。

哎，悲哀啊！当别人都在进步，甚至向我们学习时，我们则在自我堕落、自我倒退。这全都因“利益”在作祟，或许是新加坡的市场实在太小，无法“一山藏二虎”，原本应有的良性竞争，竟然会演变到如今的恶性循环，这间中的因果关系或许不是头脑简单的我所能理解、明白的。

大家心里很清楚，政府才是真正的幕后黑手。如果说四年前的媒体开放行为，到如今的幕后主要操纵者，这只能证明他们政策上的无能与失败！李假惺惺地露出一脸失望的表情，并表示会尊重两家公司的行为。看了都只令人感到虚伪，他不去合并后的公司客串一角，那岂不太可惜了？

幕后黑手已原形毕露，原来“利益”只是帮凶。

我蛮有把握地可以肯定，新加坡的失业率会有所提高，但经济也会有所增长，尤其是在广告的收益上，对香港的逆额顺差也应该会减少――这就是“媒体大倒退”的成果！

中国有“大跃进”，新加坡也有“大倒退”，大家各赢一局。

2004-09-11T15:55:00.000+08:00

realise that it has been a long time since my previous entry...

spent my last seven days at home studying, i suppose. but my efficiency is really poor. wake up at 10+, start studying at 11, den stop for lunch and watch tv till 3:30, fall asleep at 4 or 5pm, followed by shower, dinner and tv again, only back to desk study at 8pm. at night, read newspaper for another one hr plus...end up study a little bit only for a whole day. hai!

just now was watching channel 8's meteror garden,the 1st series somemore. though i have watched it for dunno how many times(the most 3 times, i think), yet still like the show a lot. so sweet! but such thing is only possible in the show, nv possible in real life.

called my mum aft the show, she's busy with my SH uncle. they are looking for furnitures coz my uncle is moving to a new hse. his new hse is much bigger than the present one, which means i got a new place to stay when back to SH. haha! if im not wrong, my mum intends to buy my uncle's present hse...erm, no opinion, got 1 more place to live, not bad mah! hee!

quite a lot things happened last wk, besides my horrible GP and chem prac. sent off LT at airport last fri...i hate that place though, i still manage not to cry and i did. YZ and XY left to china last wk, too. dunno y suddenly everybody seems all go to china. YW is going there soon. yet im still suck in dis place, going to haf prelim, followed by As...i want to go with them...now my hp stores more and more china mobile no, hopefully can meet them in SH or BJ next yr lor. anyway, LT said she wanna come to SH and stay wif me...ahahaha! once think abt it, i get excited.

think im those kind who want to do sth, will do it immediately. last wk, i was so home-sick and wanna buy a diamond ring for my mum. and i did it straightly aft my GP paper. haha! my mum is so hao3 ming4 lor, her fren frm Japan was back to visit her and bought her another diamond ring. erm...i dunno wat to say. she's so happy now! wanna to give the one i bought to my SH aunt, but she said she dun want not only becoz she nv wears rings, but only she has a much bigger one...the most, i wear it by myself lor.

next sat is MAF, my last yr MAF in Hwa Chong, hopefully it will leave me a wonderful memory. still remember last yr, i was so busying promote my Chinese Society's game stall. dun even had a choice to walk ard. haha! anyway, at least we earned some profits frm it. oh yap, remembered that last yr, YW came wif her brother, and grab me to dance wif her brother...erm, but i end up dance wif her bro's fren. a bit embarrassing! but i still keep that day's photo. thankx, yun wen! hehe!

tat file which stores hunxun was finally full. and i haf to keep some of them in other places. end up i spent an afternoon reading all the hunxun frm 2002 to 2004. it brought me lotsa memory, esp those hunxun i did. still feel im attached to them. and realise that so many ppl walked by and left in this organisation. 2 yrs is not long, yet it's not short neither. maybe it is just like wat HH said tat day at airport, everyone has diff aims or targets at diff stages of life. im still in dis organisation not becoz i haf no aims in life, but rather i still feel i belong to it. when dis kind of feeling disappears one day, think tat's the time when im going to 'disappear',too. it's just a natural life process. new blood will come and dis cycle never stops.

quite surprised that i can talk so much wif HS and HH last fri at airport, when i got hm and slept, it was already 4am. end up i had a headache during meetings the next day. realised tat we three had very diff aims and objectives for life. they two maybe have quite similar opinions, but not me. perhaps, im not that 'aritistic'. but is there any future doing arts in S'apore? sorry, i can hardly believe it. i still think one shld haf a stable job and income while practising arts as a hobby in leisure time. sorry if there's any offendance, HH and HS!

think im living in a very peacefully life now. no phone calls, no SMS, what accompany me are only notes, books, magazines, newsapaper and televisions...haha! enough resting already. have to go back to my maths notes. will update more aft my prelim. jia you!

2004-08-24T11:42:00.000+08:00

one week for prelim. wat am i doing now? no idea! spent some time last nite to solve maths qns. did 3, and only solved 1...aft tat, i totally gave up. moved on to phy, try to solve 5 qns, but end up only able to solve 1 full qn and some small parts here and there...

am i just stupid?

called my mum dis morning. she's still worried with my studies and kept remind me to study hard and not to be so playful at dis moment. am i?

not planning to attend s paper section today, will go out and shop for a while. im worried and upset and stressed and most important thing is-- i haf no confidence, not at all, to do well for prelim as well as for the coming As.

if i can't get into any of the local universities, wat can i do by den?

2004-08-17T15:42:00.000+08:00

there are too many things happened recently. sometimes, i just too tired or can't be bothered to care...

only left few months in hwa chong, start to miss it already, esp all the teachers. mr chow, mr teo, miss hia, all the other lep teachers and even dr wilks. spent a whole last nite writing teachers' day note for all of them. it only makes me to like them even more. must treasure the last few days in sch, attend their lessons, do homeworks and of course, do well in coming prelim and A levels...

petition

2004-08-17T15:24:00.000+08:00

there's a petition online requesting to retain the name of "hwa chong junior college". not very surprised by that. really think we should still preserve the name as well as the name of "the chinese high school". i mean y can't we retain both of the names and at the same time, both are still under the same name called "Hwa Chong institution" togther with the new "chinese high international sch" to form a big hwa chong family...

im the 682th to sign the petition. here's the add: http://www.petitiononline.com/hwachong/petition.html

no matter what is the final decision regarding the sch name. i will still respect the board of sch adminstration and of course, i still love my sch regardless of its name. in fact, its name will be with me 4ever...hee!

story-telling competition

2004-08-13T16:01:00.000+08:00

having such bad health these few days. yesterday, i was feeling so sick that i had even taken out my thermometer that had once been used during SARS period last year. but it told me that i was totally alright.

my sore throat is getting worse today causing some slight changes in my voice. and having cough now. so sian!

going to help in the story-telling competition tml in my sch and zhiwei had called me to write abt it for zaobao local news desk. so excited! had nv written for zaobao local news so far. oops, feel a bit stress now...which means i need to go down sph tml to finish it on tat day.

still remember i had participated in some story telling competition when i was only Sec 1. and i got into the finals, but din able to win the top prices...it brings back so much memories. hee :)

that's the business of a leader!

2004-08-13T15:48:00.000+08:00

can't understand that why there's always someone who likes to create troubles or stir up dissatisfactions among the other ppl? wat makes so happy to do such things? and esp u won't get any gd things from it...

i shall just don't care abt it. as Lee Kuan Yew once said before," if i think i am correct. i will put all my heart and soul to do it, even if everybody is against me...that's the business of a leader." yap, you r right!

chances

2004-08-13T15:35:00.000+08:00

when there's someone who starts to send u back hm; buys you a present aft a oversea trip (actually, i did so, too. and very often in fact. but must let me wat u want be4 im back. haha!) ; treats you very nice etc. dun just think that he's being a gentleman...okay lah, there's a possibility he is, but chances are quite rare, esp in singapore, i suppose. there must be sth wrong with him...that's the conclusion i made recently.

just a few days ago, when a person asked me if he stands a chance...how am i going to ans? i mean chances are there, u can either grab it or miss it. how to stand on it? dun understand...and i oso refuse to ans such complicated qn, dunno how to ans. no idea, that's all.

2004-08-08T20:32:00.000+08:00

Dis morning, my weighting machine told me tat I have lost 2kg. Dunno I shld happy or not. The fact is, I had gastric + stomach upset for consecutive 3 nights already. And since last nite, I start to haf sore throat. I noe it will soon turn to cough + cold etc. sian diao!

PR

2004-08-08T20:31:00.000+08:00

Just recently, I realized that how impt PR it is. Maybe it partly becoz im from PRC. Haha!

I noe in China “关系学”是十分重要的。但要做到这点却很难，因为一个好的PR，必须具备以下几点：
口才好
脸皮厚
胆子大
口才要好到能把对的说成错的，错的说成对的，而且要让人信服，心也服。
脸皮最好能厚到子弹都射不进，不然恐怕你不疯，就变傻子了。
胆子要大，因为你可能会面对同志，“阿瓜”，人妖，变性人等等，心里要随时承受得了这番压力。

不写了，我自己写到都觉得好笑。还是不要自己吓自己了。Must start to train my PR skills becoz I believe that if you haf a gd PR, 很多时候，可以“事倍功半”。

Bird park ppl?!

2004-08-08T20:29:00.000+08:00

Dunno since when, txy has a new name “bird park ppl”. Thankx to our beloved, dear 体育通讯员！you r so creative!

Im sorry to say that, 体育通讯员 have never, ever been given me any gd impressions. Look at those 体通 I know. None of them are better. Typical examples are Beibei Cinderella, ZQ etc. sorry, I really dun like you. And for Kianwee, dun be angry if u read it. You r the only exception. In fact, u cannot consider as a体通 coz if im not wrong you haf never written a single article. Am I right?

And I feel so fortunate that we, bird park ppl, will haf close relationship wif u and there’s even a possibility tat the two grps will combine. So is tat mean you will become bird park ppl, too? Oh, if dis is going to happen. I feel so sad for you…

Nominated article

2004-08-08T20:26:00.000+08:00

Was quite surprised when saw my last yr’s article appear in the nomination list. It was so long ago.haha! Wat makes me happier is tat. The interviewee, Johnny has achieved his goal and become the youngest committee member in the NDP preparation comm. I am so proud of you, Johnny! Still remember last yr, u told me that u wanted to be fully involved in the NDP. And you did it dis yr.

Im quite sure you will be a political leader in the future. Haha! in that case, Im going to haf a very “powerful” friend. And I will definitely vote you next time. Hee!

The result list is out. I can always ask to see if my grp or I get any awards. But I didn’t. if I get it, it will just be another bonus to me. becoz I believe that 有付出就有回报.

2004-08-08T20:25:00.000+08:00

spent almost the whole day at sph having meeting yesterday. It only made me feel so tired and dunno y a bit demoralized. Maybe it allows me to see more problems coming up. Heard some feedback from both newbies and old ones, I can already foresee my “predictable future”. Shld just take wat zhiwei said, if he was not there, things might much easier be done. But there won’t be any challenges…

Quote from another person’s email, “if you r good enough, there will ppl who love you and support you!” It has become only my motivation so far.

Again, did some stupid things, I asked quite a no. of ppl “am I gd enough?”can only remember xiaoting’s reply, you r really so nice. Thank you so much! I won’t ask the others anymore becoz I’ve already found out the ans: I think I am. Hee! And I will prove it.

options

2004-08-05T18:08:00.000+08:00

it seems my work is getting non-stop, one followed by the other one. early this month, i was getting involved in huangcheng, huayun and txy orientation within the same period of time. eventually, i've got all of them done.

but now, i get another huge responsibility. sometime, i really in doubt of my ability. do i capable enough to be in dis position? these few days, there are ppl called me telling me to be firm and strong in my position. but i scared that it will end up im the one crying...i really dunno. anything can happen.

there are too many problems unsettled at this moment, when i have not even stepped up. i heard ppl's expectations for me and for my committee. but i have to say that there are many things i won't be able to achieve it by myself, alone. if the others are not corporative, wat can i do then? force them? of course, i can't. there's no exact meaning for the term"responsibility", it all depends by individuals to define it themselves.

to create a strong and united committee may not be so difficult to achieve, perhaps. however, for someone who constantly creates a lot troubles and makes things all a mess. wat can i do with it? okay, there are lots of ways to deal with such things. but, i always hope for the better means to solve such problems. so pls dun play beyond my limit!

quote from a friend's email:
"I have a few options. Just that generally, I can choose to put up with the difficult situation, or make the best out of the difficult situation, or walkoff, which is running away. "

i won't choose the last option, definitely...

dun worry, mum!

2004-07-28T10:20:00.000+08:00

called my mum again last night. i think she' s really very worry abt me and kept asking me whether i can go to the university or not. actually, i oso haf no ideas. no confidence at all...how? wat can i do?

she told me that her friend will sponsor me for a Europe trip if i can go to the university. so good! my mum is a very nice and helpful person. i believe tat's the reason tat she has so many close friends. in fact, i really admire her a lot and hope i will like her one day. that's why im trying to learn from her now. but so far, din seem very successful...

all my friends are nice people, too. they are willingly to help the others to sell carnival coupons. but i feel very sad tat nobody wants to help me. there must be sth wrong with me, i think. am i? why am i so shi1 bai4?

maybe, i should not think too much. must concentrate on studies...and dun worry too much abt me, mum!

i dunno wat happen to me...

2004-07-28T09:56:00.000+08:00

dunno what happen to me leh, just feel very sad and a bit angry today. "am i too stressed?" i asked myself. but dun think so leh.

went to shan's friend's wake. it's very touching. i nearly cried out when his friend read out the testimonial. on the way back, i thought of lotsa things. i even asked myself tat if i just suddenly die, will there be so many friends come and pay me a last visit. i dun think so lor. really think im very shi1 bai4...or maybe im just not gd or nice enough. is that the reason? can someone give me an answer?

after tat, can't believe tat i even cried out at home last night. i think there were a lot of mixed feelings tat just make me very emotional and sad. somemore, im those types that will cry out easily.

when thinking of the hcjc carnival coupons, it just makes sadder. so far, i only able 2 sell one and in that case, i haf to digest and absorb the rest. i really tried my best. but when i talked to Helen, the way she talked seems all my fault- becos i never try to beg ppl and sell it. how come you noe i din? ok, fine! maybe, i haf to re-evaluate my character. that's why no one would like to help me.

for those who are ex-Hwa Chong-ians, i dunno why you refuse to come or buy the coupons. i mean it is your own sch where u nurtured and growed. no matter how, it's like your parents. why can't you come and support it? esp this is the last yr we can celebrate Hwa Chong Junior College. next yr onwards, this name will forever go to history. wat makes more angry is that, many of you are scholars. so there's no reason to haf excuses, like no money etc. i mean if you can afford to go clubbing and drinking etc. why can't buy a just 10 dollar coupon? to be frank, i really 看不起你们! i think it's just a way to show ur basic respect to your sch. is it really so difficult? i can't understand...

for those who just ignore my msg, i dun haf anything to say. and dun worry, i won't force you to come nor buy the coupon. becoz i've decided to absorb the rest by myself. and on that day itself, i will help to look for some stalls etc, so if i dun haf time to consume all of them. think i will just keep an unused coupon as collection. im not blaming the sch,in fact, i think it's our job to do just a little bit things to help the sch and that's all.

okay, think i shall stop here. in conclusion, i still think that it's my own problem. maybe, i shall really calm down and re-evaluate my character and i will see if there's anyway to improve on it. if u haf any suggestions, i will be very glad if u can teach me. thank you!

华侨中学？！

2004-07-27T14:52:00.000+08:00

这几天，我一直在考虑一个问题，难道我在两年前刚刚中学毕业，现在又要在中学毕业了？

为什么就不可以选择第一个选择：华中学院（Hwa Chong College），“学院”听起来就要比“中学”高一等，College也给人高等学府的感觉。相反，现在却似乎downgrade去“中学”。真的不明白，那些校友是怎么选的？但我很肯定的是，那些参与投票的校友大多数都是毕业自“华侨中学”。这样的“公投”公平吗？

四个箭头的校徽即将成为历史，就连在这个星期六举行的校庆也将为华初画上最后的句点。说真的，我是非常非常的舍不得。真的不想在毕业后回校，所加入的却是名为“华侨中学”的校友会！我很难肯定，到时的我还会不会对母校有归属感？

不过，换一个角度去想，就像今天苏老师所说的，即使华初不在了，这只是一个名字的消失，但他却可以永远我们的心中。晓亭甚至说，我们可以在几十年后，就像现在的南洋大学一样，要求学校“复名”。哈哈！

如果一次的“换名”可以换来学生对母校的归属感，校友们之间的凝聚力，我觉得那一切都是值得的。正如苏老师所说的，现在的华初似乎越来越不爱校了。其实，我也有同感。除了我们LEP这个班外，其他班却似乎很难令让我看到他们对学校的爱，对学校的热忱。

但我相信我应该是不会忘记母校的，因为在这里，我学到了很多。不仅仅是知识、学术上的增长，但更多的是在做人、待人处事方面的成长，并训练了我独立的思考能力。

圣公会，我没有忘记您！华初，也同样会是一样的！

life is so unpredictable...

2004-07-27T11:35:00.000+08:00

can't believe that life can be so unpredictable and fragile. yesterday i still heard from tsz shan tat her friend's illness is not very optimistic. dis morning, only a day later, she told me tat her friend passed away...

even though i dun know her friend. in fact, i only saw him once in last yr's MAF. still remember tat he's much taller than tsz shan, and he's a very nice guy. i teased them and said they are very pei4. but now, not even a year later, i still can't believe that he passed away.

life is so unfair. why can't God be fair to everyone? this morning, we were talking abt him. Helen nearly cried out despite that she dunno him. luckily, she din eventually. otherwise, i think i will cry,too.

tsz shan told us a lot things abt him. it seems that his life has never been easy for him. in the beginning of this yr, the doctor discovered a tumour in his brain. after numerous treatments and a major operation, we all thought tat he's recovering.

but the cancer cells spreaded to his spinal cord and affected his nerve system. according to tsz shan, his vision became blur and his hearing has also been affected in last wk...and yesterday afternoon, he left the world peacefully...

even though we don't know him, yet somehow we decided to go his wake after sch today. i really admire his spirit and encouragement when fighting against illness. hope that it's just a relief for him and he will live forever inside his friends and parents' heart...

carnival coupons?!

2004-07-24T14:55:00.000+08:00

met xinying yesterday. she's still like tat, not much fatter nor thinner. we were having dinner together. initially, i invited zhuanghui to come along, but he said he would go pak toh dunnno wif some gal(according to xy, should be some acjc gal...hu cares?). just now i met him again in sch, he insisted that he was mugging at home yesterday....like real?

xinying told me many exciting things in beijing, eg. who were the guys she encountered etc. very interesting~ think im a good listener, too. haha! some parts of her story is really shocking. and i confirmed wif my teacher just now as he was studying in Peking University, he said it's true...

another shocking news is tat li ting is going to beijing and study there in this sept. so our txy family will haf 2 ppl in beijing and 2 ppl in shanghai by then. in tat case, i hope tat aft my A level, we can all meet in china, either beijing or shanghai. haha! so cool!

and of course, aft my As, i want to go Hongkong, probably meet my mum there and can shopping together. my class is planning to go Malaysia or somewhere near Singapore. i'd hope they can make the trip successful. some other places includes Japan, Thailand, Korea etc. but it all depends if i haf the money and time to go. quite hard, i think. anyway, i should not be so tan1 xin1. haha!

aft As, still haf promenade. btw, i bought my prom dress already. it is so pretty. the most impt thing is that i bought it at an discountered price becoz of the great singapore sale. so lucky! and so far, im the 1st one in my class who had bought prom dress already. haha! it is light purple with some strings at the back...not easy to wear it,too.

aiya, shldn't think so much things now. must concentrate on studies. haf lotsa tests and homework for the next few weeks. and i still haf to sell the stupid carnival coupons. only managed to sell 1 to yi wei, in tat case, i haf to absorb another 4...tat is a lot! are there anyone who interested to come to Hwa Chong 30th anniversary carnival. pls buy the coupon from me,k? thank you!

human beings

2004-07-24T11:36:00.000+08:00

我的social circle也不算太小吧，认识的人也蛮多的。形形种种、各式各样的“品种”都有。

有些人生活的很开心，潇潇洒洒的，不愁吃不愁穿。还不时到处“鬼混”，极开心！但由于他们天生丽质、基因优良，所以人也很聪明，根本就不用担心考试会不会及格等这类“小事”。

也有一些人的生活很有目标，他们十分清楚自己在做什么、想做什么，并努力地朝那个方向奋斗。

当然，也有另外一些人，他们的生活很平凡，只是认认真真地完成自己分内的事，并试图做到最好。

还有一些人，整天逍遥快活，玩得很痛快，其他事情一律都不管。这样的人，说实话也挺令人羡慕的，阿Q精神。哈哈！

以上这些人，都不是属于我的类型，但老实说，我觉得这些是他们的性格，所以没有什么的对或错。相反，他们不少都是令我佩服、敬佩的人，都可以交朋友。

不过最令我看不惯就是那种，整天到处flirt ard, 今天喜欢这个人，明天又会喜欢上另一个人，可以说是个十足的“大情圣”。这还不用紧，反正与我无关。更重要的是，不遵守诺言，今天已经答应了你的事，还可以在一个星期后反悔？如果叫你吐出上星期吃的饭，这可能吗？害得其他人还得迁就你一个人！索性的是，幸亏那种人反悔的早，试想如果他答应下来的事，又不好好、负责地去完成，那我不就更惨？

就当作是“不幸中的大幸”吧！

好累啊！

2004-07-24T11:17:00.000+08:00

有时候，真的不知道自己在做些什么？却又感到如此的累！似乎每天都有做不完的事情、读不完的书，更何况自己还有许多东西想做、想尝试，却没有时间。真是可怜！悲哀啊！

昨天，临睡前突然思考了很多问题，试图说服自己。说实话，其实觉得自己的生活还是挺充实、有意义的。或许应该值得开心吧！

总结了一下：有很多东西需要做是因为自己人太好、太善良了，别人要我帮忙这、帮忙那得，我都会毫不犹豫地答应下来。或许是自己太笨了吧！为什么事事都扛下来呢？有时候看到某人很可怜，我还会自己volunteer，孰不知，我自己比他/她还可怜。为什么我的心那么“软”？

anyway, in order to make some improvements, i decided tat my this yr's national day resolution is: know to say "no" to ppl! haha! hopefully, i can achieve so.

今天在学校里帮忙招待那些“群口讲故事比赛”的人，还不是因为老师需要帮手，我就义不容辞地答应了。搞到自己这么累，不过还是挺开心的！

gp...sux!

2004-07-19T15:38:00.000+08:00

such a tiring mon!!! just had a extremely hard and dunno-how-to-do general paper comprehension on "human rights". so stupid! never know that prejudice and discrimination can link to some mechanism called "projection" and "displacement". i have only got to know these two words in physic--kinetics chapter. i think that's why they define it as "mechanism"...

the application question is even more difficult. asking abt to explain two cases of prejudices or discrimination in our society, except those due to ethnical or racial reasons and use the theory in the passage to explain. the worst thing is, i only had less than 20 min left to finish this question. so end up anyhow write lor...i wrote that the handicapped and those fat and short ppl are being discriminated in S'apore. is that correct? dunno leh. can't think of any other things liao.

actually, it can be quite true. still remembered that weibiao is being discriminated by his height when we went to watch "brotherhood" last week. coz that film is NC 16, but somehow, we were wearing jc uniform and there is tse shan who is even shorter than weibiao. yet the guard only asked weibiao for his age...so funny!

really like that film...so touching! i cried a few times, partly because helen was sitting beside me. she started to cry in the very beginning of the film. and even terence cried...really a nice film!

some updates...

2004-07-13T15:18:00.000+08:00

haven't been writing entries since i was back. partly because im too lazy, and partly because of the extremely hard block test and my busy schedule...

so many things happened in these two weeks and i've got back almost all my papers already. fail three subjects out of five subjects...not surprise!!

hopefully i can get motivated after getting back the papers. but im not, im still not in study mood now...

finally, i decided to go senior prom in coming dec even though it is costly. actually, money is not the main problem to me, just can't make up my mind...maybe im just not suitable for such occasion, i think. my Shanghai uncle even gave me RMB1000 to buy prom dress and almost every relative there told me to go. they said i would regret if i don't go. perhaps they are correct!

for the rest of the week, i've packed with activities liao. so happy! will go shopping tml, watch movie "brotherhood" and probably dinner on Thurs, meeting wei chao on fri and zhan wei on sat evening...must remember to bring the presents for them if not have to meet again.

erm...20 min later, will haf mr Tan's "s" paper section. like him,too! so qiang! he is my another ou xiang, really! recently, i read his new book again in order to get some inspiration for my chuang4 zuo4. so cool! must remember to bring that book for xiao ting to read tml.

still think i haven't adapted to the environment now. miss home so much! miss mum, dad and can't forget my dearest aunt! called her last sun, we talked a lot things...just can't wait to go back Shanghai again!

okay lah, see you in Dec! bu2 jian4 bu2 san4~

方向

2004-07-13T15:10:00.000+08:00

"我常常先想，等到我死的那一天，我会不会说：‘太好了，终于结束了，我已经很累了。’

如果生命的轮回单单只是因为凡人的不明，那我恐怕要一直重复着一样的生活了吧！

我的日子，就分成了无数个大路期和迷宫期，一个有方向，一个无方向。”

--臧笑艺

sorry, junior! accidentally, i read your 创作. really like your last sentence...esp "一个有方向，一个无方向。" think im in this cross road,too.

生活在上海

2004-07-13T15:05:00.000+08:00

其他地方飘过来的人，开始或许会讨厌上海，但是住啊住啊的，竟也能忍受上海人的斤斤计较，阴冷的冬天，因为他们也爱上了上海，自然所有的缺点也接受了，上海不知不觉也改变了他们，于是就这样待下来，不想走了，我就认识很多这样的朋友。

--叶孝忠

yeh! love it, Shanghai!
miss you so much!!!

充电体验

2004-07-13T14:48:00.000+08:00

这就是我现在的心情写照：

“相信很多人出国旅行时，最不喜欢的就是最后几天。除了得收拾行李，还得收拾心情，想到即将“回归现实”，难免郁闷。”--吴庆康

或许只有他才能“能够带着愉快的心情出国，然后带着更愉快的心情回国，容光焕发重新上路。。。”

但我还无法做到这一点，至少是到目前为止。。。

第二次邂逅

2004-07-12T10:45:00.000+08:00

短短半年内的两次邂逅，带给我的是无数惊喜与震撼。

年头的那一次邂逅，虽然是在刺骨的寒风中，但却使我感受到阵阵暖流涌上心头。相隔了两年，你我都改变了不少，以至在碰面的那一刻，竟然都呆视着对方，不知所措。

两年的分离，终于在经历了无数夜的长盼中，换来了短暂的相距，留下的只是一张张色彩缤纷、零储值的电话卡。虽然两年前的我们曾共享欢乐，在这两年里，我们也常常交换“声音”，然而两年后的相见，竟然有如第一次邂逅般的兴奋与精彩。

短短的十二天，就令我经历了从初恋到热恋至分手的刻骨铭心的回忆。分离的那一刻，我死赖在你的怀里，泪流满面，不愿动身。最后，还是你无情地把我送走了。回头最后望了你一眼，没想到你也在流泪哭泣。。。离别的行李箱里空荡荡的，唯一仅存的就是分手时的眼泪和一张孤独的单曲CD----“分手快乐”。

五个月后的第二次邂逅，是偶然，也是必然。

早到的班机迫不及待地又把我送回了你的怀抱，再次拥抱时，少了刻骨铭心的回忆，取而代之的则是，无数的温馨与甜蜜。虽然相隔只有区区的几个月，你却又变了，变得更加乐观、开朗，变得更加令我“爱不释手”了。

在接下来的二十五天里，我们一起游山玩水，尽情地重温着初恋的甜蜜；而你则在经意与不经意中，与我约下了不少“山盟海誓”的约定，把我再一次地抛入处于热恋少女的无限遐想之中。

与前一次“寒风中的暖流”相比，第二次邂逅带给我的却是截然不同的体会，是“热浪里的凉风”，犹如一边泡温泉，一边吃冰淇淋那么爽！

渐渐地，我对你有了更深的了解，而且越是深刻，就越是喜欢你，离不开你，舍不得你，并常常以你为容，为能拥有你、属于你而感到无比的骄傲与自豪！

相信是每段恋情都会有了结的时候。分手的那一刻，我不再依偎在你的怀里，更没有流下不争气的眼泪。虽然延误的班机似乎在为我们制造更多的机会，然而你我都选择去坚强地面对现实，最终彼此都狠心地擦身而过。

这次的我没有行李箱、没有背包（包袱），只在脑海里留下了你曾说过的一句话：“你走了以后，我的生活又将恢复平静。。。”

的确，没有平静，又怎会有波涛？惟有期待着另一次的浪花，耐心等待着第三次邂逅的降临。。。

隧道尽头 At the end of the tunnel...

2004-06-26T01:46:00.000+08:00

At the end of the tunnel，不一定有美景，但总会有路、有希望。 ---吴庆康

只要有路可以一直走下去,就一定能看到美景,这也就代表了希望...

only few hrs later...

2004-06-26T01:07:00.000+08:00

it's 1:30am in the morning,26th June. my flight is at 8:20am. less than 7hrs, i will leave this city.

didn't do much things today, slept till 12 noon. it's fairly cool here,was raining almost the whole day.

just finished watching a Hongkong show, i won't be able to watch the rest even though i hope i can.

a lot of things, we can hardly control by ourselves. perhaps, this is the answer.

i try very hard not to think too much. but will i cry later in the airport? everytime, i told myself not to cry, but it always ended up crying non-stopply. but i know this time i will able to do it.

have to wake up before 6am later coz the airport is very far away, ard an hr journey. yet i still refuse to sleep, because i simply don't want to waste time here sleeping.

looking out of the window, the city has not slept yet. cars and buses are still running on the road. and occasionaly, i can hear people talking quite loudly.

trying very hard to study today, but i ended up didn't touch a single page of my notes. no mood + no time...had a farewel dinner with some of my relatives, i was espescially quiet today.instead, i was stoning at the clock on the wall most of the time. but i still ate a lot coz i know this is my last chance to eat...

bye,shanghai! i will see you a few months later...

see you soon!

You're the angelic smiley

2004-06-26T00:43:00.000+08:00

People like you for your kind and friendly personality. You live every day the best you can and don't take it for granted. You are someone that can make someone's day a little better.

http://www21.brinkster.com/laurenn/smileyquiz.html

near 4am in the morning.

2004-06-25T03:42:00.000+08:00

slightly more than 24 hrs later, i will be leaving this city--a city where i born and growed.

life will be back to normal soon. it will be tough,definitely. cannot slack anymore since i've already slacking for this whole holiday. hope i can still catch up my studies and hopefully don't do too bad for the coming block test 2.

did a bit university research here and had discussed with my family. at present stage, i hope i can study accountancy in NTU,perhaps. but who knows,i may change my mind later.

met one of my ex shanghai classmate.she's in university already and studying law. so jealous!

and finally able to reach my ex sec sch classmate. she's in Australia now and in university of New South Wales and studying telecommunciation. such a good university!

sometimes, really think im a bit useless...can't imagine if i can't get into a university or can't find a job after graduation. how can i face that situation by then?

still got txy staffs when im back to singapore. sometimes,i feel im a bit out of txy. dunno lotsa newbies there already and din really bond to ruiying. if i can draw well, really think i will be more happy if stay in CFF. and of course, there're still many problems in txy,esp in grps like SYD and qun ying.

at least,i dun have much commitment in school already. must really start to put in more effords on studies liao!

i won't forget this memorable June holiday in Shanghai...

妈妈

2004-06-25T03:22:00.000+08:00

我的妈妈真的很奇怪，或许是很前卫吧！

上次回国，她鼓励我去食什么摇头丸，说什么摇头可以减肥。。。难道就没有其他办法减肥了嘛？为什么不让我食减肥丸，总比摇头丸好吧！幸好女儿有点智慧，加上自控能力，不然就让母亲大人给带坏了。（不过，她自己倒从来没有吃过，反正她瘦，没有这个必要。。。）

这次回国，她又没事好好地鼓励我去医院割双眼皮。必须澄清的是，我是双眼皮，只是双在里面，不明显。好好的要我去挨一刀，做什么？其实，如果可以变漂亮的话，我到不介意，但是一听到要当几天瞎子，我看还是算了吧！好节省点钱！

不知，下次又有什么新“花招”？现在，她极自豪有这么一个比她胖、又可以当她妹妹的女儿。不过，前几天，在我的逼供下，她终于承认当初没有生男孩，心里的确不开心。。。现在终于知道生女儿的好处了吧！

说实话，我打从心底里，爱这个妈妈！尊敬她！

杭州之旅。

2004-06-25T02:56:00.000+08:00

去了一趟杭州，看了山与水，去了寺庙，拜了佛，又在西湖划船。其余的时间，就是在路途上睡觉了。真的很会睡，妈妈笑说：“我得了‘车上嗜睡症’”。我觉得我在飞机上也是如此，反正一上去就是睡觉，倒也不错。

在西湖划船算是意想不到的收获，真的很浪漫！不过，妈妈却一直在泼我冷水，反正她很后悔被我骗上船，阿姨则呱呱叫，怕落水，怎么可能？不过最终，我用实力，证明给他们看：尽管船歪歪斜斜地前行，几乎是一直在调整船的方向中完成了整次的“航行”，当不管怎么说，他们一点力都没有出，都是我一人在“导航、划桨”的，累死人了！

看着其他情侣坐在小舟内，荡漾在西湖上，再看看阿姨的苦脸，听听妈妈的抱怨声，真是相差“十万八千里”！

原本以为，到了杭州，会看到很多美女。不知是我的美女要求太高，还是没有眼福，反正没有看到，真是可惜！或许是杭州的美女都“变种”了，又或许是美女都“流失”，远嫁了。反正都有可能－－这是我的结论，信不信由你！

什么都没有买，也没有什么可以买。晒得很黑！还是觉得上海最好！

多一天就要离开这个美丽的城市了。。。

2004-06-25T01:51:00.000+08:00

过了今天，就要离开了。我一直尝试着告诉自己：不要想太多，不然又要掉眼泪了。

在上海真的是太开心、太幸福了！处处都有人疼、有人爱。。。

吃饭可以吃到泻肚子，不得不去医院吊点滴（这还是我近六年来，第一次“重游”上海的医院），也是我头一回吊点滴，不过还好，不是很痛，只是在医院的那几个小时，被蚊子叮了很多个“包”。医生倒是很和蔼、不时来病房探望我。当然，他们也从我身上“榨取”了很多钱。都是海鲜惹的祸！

之后，被迫喝了两天的白粥＋很苦、很苦的药。还好“良药苦口”嘛－－只好阿Ｑ一下了！不过，这次，我倒觉得自己变勇敢了许多，可能吊点滴并没有我想象当中那样痛吧！或许是我已经长大了吧！

去了一趟澳门，真正感受到背包旅行的滋味了！其实也不完全算是旅行，ＳＨＯＰＰＩＮＧ更为确切一些！反正是被迫，谁让香港海关不让我入境香港，还把我遣送回澳门，年底假期一定要再去一趟不可，还要大摇大摆地过海关！

这次的经历真的是非常难得：早上从珠海出境，接着入境澳门，再乘渡轮前往香港，在海关处被扣留，拒绝让我入境，原因是：没有ＶＩＳＡ！！！然后被带入各个小房间问话，签了一大堆文件，得到一张“拒入境通知书”和一张免费的船票，“遣送”回澳门。接着，又在澳门海关被带入什么“刑事侦察室”问话、填表格等等，终于一个人人生地不熟地又回到了澳门，开始了为期一个下午的背包旅行。

也不知为什么，这次的落难，我竟然一点都不怕，可能是口袋里装了一万港币在内，心里是这么想的：最多一个人买张机票回上海了。在澳门就随便上了一辆德士，让它送我随便去可以“买东西，吃东西”的地方，就一个人ＳＨＯＰＰＩＮＧ起来，竟然可以随便走走就在晚餐时间走到了赌场（不是我聪明，就是澳门太小了），接着就终于与大人会面，结束了半天“流浪”的生活。真的觉得自己很利害，换了是从前，我一定会先“吓得半死”，然后就一直不停地哭－－这是我从前解决问题的唯一办法。

去了两个赌场，开了眼界！

回到珠海，独自一人在半夜靠酒店的地方想买东西，后来走了很久才发现不对劲，那里竟然是色情场所！我也差点就成为了“目标”。

回到酒店，看到很多男人半夜牵了一个个漂亮妹妹回房。。。就连酒店的床头都放有避孕套，厕所里还有什么“神奇香皂”等等，我“研究”了半天，也不知所以然，只好放弃。结论是：原来中国竟是如此开放。又一次地大开眼界！

隔天，参加了珠海一日旅游团，观光了一些名胜古迹，也爱上了珠海有山、有海的美丽景色！非常赏心悦目，太美了！加上那位开车的司机一直称呼我为美女，更是给我灌了蜜糖似地甜。

回程的飞机餐令人做呕！同样的航空公司，飞国际航班的食物和飞内陆航班的食物竟然可以相差这么远，这恐怕就是中国人崇洋媚外的典证！更重要的是，飞机票也只比飞新加坡的机票便宜了几百快人民币。唉，惨不忍睹！

总之，这次的假期使我开阔了眼界，让我看到了很多东西，感受到了很多滋味，体会到了以前从未有的经验，同时，也是我更加地认识了自己、了解了自己。

“受益匪浅”，这就是我的总结吧！

2004-06-23T21:31:00.000+08:00

the entrance

2004-06-23T21:27:00.000+08:00

in a cave (without flash)...but can u see the red ring of light?

2004-06-23T21:22:00.000+08:00

this is the temple i went today.

2004-06-23T21:19:00.000+08:00

imagine many couples were sitting in this bench beside the West Lake...oh, so cool! can call it "the love bench".haha!

2004-06-23T21:13:00.000+08:00

taken this photo when i was in a boat on the West Lake. so romantic!

2004-06-23T21:07:00.000+08:00

is she a ÃÀÅ®?

2004-06-23T21:00:00.000+08:00

when Bai Juyi left Hangzhou for Luoyang...

2004-06-23T20:59:00.000+08:00

Bai Juyi in Tang Dynasty...

2004-06-23T20:57:00.000+08:00

Xi Hu (West Lake?)---the most famous lake in Hangzhou.

2004-06-23T20:47:00.000+08:00

nice!

2004-06-23T20:45:00.000+08:00

beside the temple.

2004-06-23T20:44:00.000+08:00

a dragon on the roof top.

2004-06-23T20:41:00.000+08:00

in the temple

2004-06-23T20:38:00.000+08:00

what can you see?

2004-06-23T20:37:00.000+08:00

at Ling Ying Shan (Hangzhou)

2004-06-23T20:24:00.000+08:00

...

2004-06-23T20:22:00.000+08:00

in some Chinese restaurant at Nanjing Road.

2004-06-23T20:21:00.000+08:00

guess where is that?

2004-06-23T20:20:00.000+08:00

Starbucks at Shanghai.

上海人说话

2004-06-23T01:21:00.000+08:00

说了这么多上海的男人与女人，不谈谈上海人怎么可以？

上海人说话总是很快，而且嗓音又很大，不了解的人，可能还会以为是要吵架了。

我妈妈就是一个典型的例子，不但嗓门大，说话还特别啰唆，尤其是她泡电话褒的功力特深，只要对方不说“再见”，她是永远都不会放下电话的。我就浪费了很多长途电话费听她啰唆，不过尽管如此，我还是常常打电话给她，她的朋友们也是如此。我想：可能这就是她声音的“魅力”吧！

不过，我每次回国，大人们会都说，我说话变得既小声，又慢了，而且有些句子的上海话音也变了。。。＊伤心＊经过这几个星期的努力，我说话的速度终于恢复到以前的八成功力－－又变快了。可是，阿姨今天竟然说我是在呱呱地叫个不停。。。

我还可以说些什么呢？

上海女人

2004-06-23T00:43:00.000+08:00

谈了这么多“上海的男人”，不说说女人，实在过意不去。

上海的女人常常被冠上“泼辣，凶悍”的头衔，这也难怪男人会“怕老婆”嘛！

不过，我必须陈清我是个例外，可能是因为在新加坡呆太久的缘故，“原始的性格”已经“进化”了吧！就连我去珠海的导游都连声说，我不象是上海女人，反倒像是台湾人比较多，原因是：我很客气，而且说话细身细气的，有点嗲！哈哈！（也不知道这是好事，还是坏事。不“泼辣，凶悍”一点的话，以后可能会反倒“怕老公”，那多丢上海女人的脸。。。）

至少，在我们家里，阿姨，妈妈等人多少都带有一点上海女人的特色。不过我的结论是：上海男人气量都很大，不会和老婆斤斤计较，应该说是很迁就老婆的男人。多好！简直就是男人们的“典范”！

2004-06-21T23:02:00.000+08:00

Macau gals...

2004-06-21T22:59:00.000+08:00

pay attention on the words...at Macau

2004-06-21T22:58:00.000+08:00

on the mountain...Zhuhai view

2004-06-21T22:57:00.000+08:00

take a closer look. can u see the names?

2004-06-21T22:56:00.000+08:00

love locks...so cool!

2004-06-21T22:54:00.000+08:00

nice structure!

2004-06-21T22:53:00.000+08:00

mini Yuan Min Yuan

2004-06-21T22:51:00.000+08:00

some more...

2004-06-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

mini Great Wall of China

2004-06-21T22:46:00.000+08:00

my favourite photo. cool?! (taken in Zhuhai)

2004-06-21T22:42:00.000+08:00

delicious!

2004-06-21T22:39:00.000+08:00

continued...better than Macau,right?

2004-06-21T22:38:00.000+08:00

at Nanjing Road(Shanghai)

上海帅哥

2004-06-21T01:31:00.000+08:00

说完"上海男人"之后,不谈谈"上海帅哥",绝对过意不去.

首先,我要说的是,帅哥一定是上海比新加坡多--这是无可争辩的! 走在路上,随便眼睛一瞥,就可能会看见帅哥,即使不是很帅,也不会长的太难看.这是绝对肯定的!

另外,我也觉得上海男生相比起来比较会打扮,不排除那些穿着超过时,老套的,反正这两个极端都不少...蛮奇怪的一个现象!

至于帅哥们的另外一点--是否温柔体贴? 那我就不太清楚了.因为就我目前来说,认识的男生都不可归入"帅哥"一类,真是可怜了我! 哈哈!

附:为什么妈妈的那些朋友的儿子都长相一般? 不然,我就可以为我这篇"上海帅哥"文章做进一步的研究报道...唉~

上海男人

2004-06-21T01:29:00.000+08:00

上海男人是出了名的"怕老婆",除此之外,也是公认的"家庭主夫"--丈夫的"夫".

此话说得一点都不过分. 那天,我在当了"水果妹"的当儿,就亲眼看到很多(比"不少"还多)的"主夫们",刚下班就赶去买菜,然后就提着大包小包刚买好的菜,来买水果,还被我偷笑了好几回.真可怜! 不用说,他们回到家后,还必须负责"买,洗,烧"的后面两环节,不然怎么可以真得上是"称职的家庭主夫"!

新加坡的男人如果还"身在福中不知福"的话,我建议我们女人们绝对应该"引进"这套"先进的上海技术",真的!

仔细想想,找个上海男人真的是个不错的决定.即使他不愿当"家庭主夫"的话,也不用紧,只要确定他"怕老婆"就够了. 如果运气好的话,嫁了一个"家庭主夫",那我绝对有条件"想清福",过"太太"生活了.哈哈!

附:反正我已决定了,如果下次妈妈给我介绍什么上海男生的话,绝对应该好好的考虑,考虑.真的不错!

last 4 days in Shanghai.

2004-06-21T00:45:00.000+08:00

time flys so fast. it is already my last 4 days here. it is my 1st summer holiday in Shanghai and it is the happiest holiday--im sure!

but now,i feel very sad. only left 4 days here and it is getting shorter and shorter. if next time, i become a scientist. i want to design a machine which can stop time...(comment:在做黑日梦）

anyway, for the last 4 days. one day will be going to my another aunt's house, have a farewell dinner with all my father side's relative. another one day or two, will travel to 杭州,就是那个"上有天堂,下有苏杭"的杭州. think i can see many 美女 there...haha! 真有眼福! 羡慕吧!if i got chance to take 美女 photos,i will surely put them here 与大家一起分享. and plan to 在西湖上划船,很有情调吧!反正很爽!

for more info or regarding those 美女 photos, pls contact me personally. thank you!

photos.

2004-06-21T00:34:00.000+08:00

uploaded quite a number of photos this afternoon, too. i will continue do so if i have time and provided my laptop don't give me much problems.

took more 300,400 photos for this trip back. i really hope i can keep those nice photos/memories forever...4ever!

2004-06-20T17:15:00.000+08:00

Macau street...can't compare with Shanghai. still prefer Shanghai or Singapore.

2004-06-20T17:12:00.000+08:00

cool?!

2004-06-20T17:08:00.000+08:00

Casino Lisboa (Macau). i spent a night there observing people involve in gambling. that's the only night life there...cool experience!

2004-06-20T17:03:00.000+08:00

the supporter.

2004-06-20T17:01:00.000+08:00

such scene won't be seen in Shanghai nor Singapore...

2004-06-20T16:58:00.000+08:00

at Macau street...on 4th June.

some photos upload...

2004-06-20T16:28:00.000+08:00

these are the photos that i took in the wild animal park last 2 weeks. all animals...my blog becomes an animal photo collection. haha!

actually, i want to show off my photograph skill here. not bad, right? hee ^-^

really love all the animals. so cute!

2004-06-20T02:41:00.000+08:00

all female lions here. heard the male lion never come and search for food...so lazy and useless!

2004-06-20T02:34:00.000+08:00

a fat fat panda---my favourite animal! cute and fat=me.haha!

2004-06-20T02:27:00.000+08:00

nice post! such a cool female lion! but i know her husband has at least 3 wives...so hua xing!

2004-06-20T02:20:00.000+08:00

when food comes...

2004-06-20T02:14:00.000+08:00

nice post!

2004-06-20T02:07:00.000+08:00

this is my recent wallpaper. there's another photo where there's a duck mum teaching its 6 duck babies swmming. but i still prefer this one.

2004-06-20T02:00:00.000+08:00

dunno what's it called? but can see the baby on its back? by the way, this animal likes to eat banana very much.